Brother X I realize that not only did I create a shrine for you, but that I also imported the most expensive gold for it too. We have to get it out in the clear right away that you had nothing to do with it. In fact if my guess is right, you are oblivious about how far gone I am.
Ever sent someone a long thoughtful, insightful message and all you got back in form of a response was: “K”?
Well that is how I feel Brother X. After putting up all these structures in my head; I feel like all I am getting back from you is a “K”. I want you to know that I do not blame you Brother X. I blame myself.
I blame myself for thinking that if I thought hard, real hard about you, my wishes would come true. I thought if I “presented” myself to you, you would take notice of me.
I forgot all the scriptures I knew. I forgot how beautiful and wonderful I was to HE who created me. I tried dancing a little bit less; because I thought cool guys like calm chicks. I prayed a little less intimately because I did not want to lose myself in worship- cool guys don’t like that. No?
Brother X, I took a hard look at myself in the mirror. The kind of look that examines the soul and I realized that all these was triggered by fears I created in my mind.
I feared that age was catching up with me. I feared that my mates were all doing their 4th, 5th and further wedding anniversaries. I feared that with time my shelf life would expire and I would not be desirable any more.
But you see Brother X, I now see my wrong. You are not God and I cannot place these demands on you. You are not the author and finisher of my faith. You weren’t there when God created the earth. You weren’t there when He thought me into creation. You see I forgot that He first finished me, before He began me. He says He foreknew the plans He had over me and these were plans to give me a future and a hope.
Brother X, it’s not your fault that you are that fine! Neither is it mine that I am this pretty. But in reality I created a monument out of you and allowed you to take His place.
So I just wanted to let you know that I am OK with you not saying hi, or looking my direction. I am finally accepting that you just might not be in my future and that doesn’t faze me one bit.
I need to stop trying to fit you in a puzzle that you just didn’t come with in the first place.
So Brother X, I just wrote to tell you that next time in Church when you see me whiz past you to my usual sitting place; do pardon me if I don’t stare like I normally do. You see I now realize that He who created me deserves ALL my worship and praise. It was for Him that I was created.
I don’t know if I will actually stop liking you; I mean I do not have a button to press and automatically stop. But I have in the last few weeks brought that shrine down and Jesus now takes preeminence.
Thank you Brother X, for remaining true to yourself.
In His love & mine Sister Ciruu.
To all those single (read slightly “older”) sisters who are feeling “flustered” because a certain guy doesn’t seem to return and or receive your signal; this one is for you.
Look here. I have made you a part of Me, written you on the palms of My hands.
And I know God has made everything beautiful for its time.
You are beautiful. You are precious. There is no clock ticking as He holds time in His hands. In fact He owns the Clock. Do your part and let Him do the rest.
God says He has made; He is not planning to make, or trying to figure it out. It is already made beautiful. You need to trust Him. If you have prayed and I mean praying until you know you have prayed through for a mate; it is time to give thanks. He already did it.