W.A.I. T

I never thought I would be free.

I never thought I would be OK waiting on God.

I never thought this crippling anxiety would end.

I never thought I would totally surrender it all to God and allow Him to actually work for me.

I never knew God was for me.

I always thought I would fix it.

I always thought if I made myself pretty enough they would swarm my way.

I always thought that my smile would magnetically attract them in drones.

I always thought I was the one.

I was crashed when it did not happen.

I was crashed when it did not happen, but it happened for my friend(s).

I was crashed when it did not happen on my time.

I was crashed when I had to attend to another while mine had not come.

I was crashed when they said “wait upon the Lord…”

Do they know how cliché those words sound to me?

Do they know how many times I have fasted and prayed?

Do they know how many hands I have held in agreement?

Do they know how many resounding “Amen!” I have had to say?

Do they know how many hopes have been dashed?

BUT…

He knows how much I need this.

He knows my heart’s desire.

He sees each tear I cry.

He sees my secret anguish when I attend another.

He sees the sleepless (well almost) nights trying to figure out what went wrong.

He sees me.

He knows me.

He knows my name.

He wove me in my mothers womb.

He promised.

I trust Him.

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