My Encounter with Married Man- Of Lessons Learned: Part 3

 

There is something about being the presence of God, being in His presence and being honest about what is on your mind.

I usually do not make very traditional prayers. I am very unconventional when I am in His presence.

And so here I was crying, really broken.

In that very moment in His presence God began dealing with me about the very thing that I had confessed with my mouth.

He began opening my eyes to the long term effects this illicit relationship would have on me, and then He did this thing that felt like a slap on my face; I like calling it my “Hallelujah moment!”

He brought my son into the picture.

My child.

And with that He touched me raw.

“Child…”, God said to me, “If you open that door, you not only open it for yourself but for your son too”.

-By now you know how fearlessly I love my son.

He got me. He got all the attention I would give on this issue.

God began showing me how this sin- this rot- this death- how it would not only necessary harm me, but would eventually get to my son and his generations to come.

At that moment I realized that not only was I being selfish but also very narrow minded.

Right there in His presence I began to repent of the very thoughts I had, of the very things I had confessed and accepted.

I realized the minute I got my son, life ceased to be all about me.

There’s a generation coming that would be affected by my actions.

Oh yea I could chose to play and have a little fun here & in fact probably never get to experience any repercussions from this in my lifetime- but one thing was sure: the consequences would surely come.

The picture that came to my mind was my grand daughter fighting battles that she never enlisted for. I began to see her husband cheating on her. I began to see the other grand daughter {yes I have like 12 grand kids in my vision  😉 } sleeping around with married men, battling with herself not quite understanding what was happening to her, trying to stop but not being able to, not knowing that she was reaping seeds sown by her grandmother.

Those thoughts paralyzed me immediately I realized the kind of strange fires I was fanning.

The realities and magnitude of my intended actions caused such a rude awakening!

I was desperate. I needed to be.

I must need to stop before I began.

I must need God, more than I need to be loved.

I must need God, more than I need this man’s attention.

I must need to be saved more than I need financial gain.

Above all I realized I must need His grace more than I need to be embraced by man.

And so I recall urgently asking Him to show me how to pray, how to get out of this mess. In an instant- I mean like in a microsecond of a millisecond these thoughts dropped into my mind and I began to pray them in fervency:

“Lord, hide me, hide me so that this man will never see me. May we never meet at the bus stop may our paths be so apart that I will never bump into him.”

“Cause him to forget me, forget he ever met me, forget this encounter today.”

“Father cause him right now to forget my number, may he never call or text me…I need this Jesus, I need this desperately.”

I distinctively remember this gushing of peace flooding my very soul at the time. It felt like God swept me- literally- off my feet. I felt an assurance, a confidence wrap around me in the sweetest embrace known to man.

I finally got the embrace I so badly yearned for.

It was settled.

I was loved.

I was accepted.

I had conquered.

I had overcome.

It would have been quite easy for me to justify the communication with him as “innocent”; I mean after all weren’t we just going to have coffee? Can’t I just be friends with a married man?

Well the harsh reality of this is: No.

No. I can’t just be friend with a married man.

No. I can’t just be in constant communication with someone’s husband.

-Only Jesus. And I am not.

Sometimes many of us want so badly to be told what we are doing is O.K. We want someone to soothe and massage our egos, yet deep down in our hearts we know it to be wrong.

So I choose to say it till the Lord comes back, or takes me home to be with Him: It is not O.K; a married man is an OPP (Other People’s Property).

Talking about loneliness? Yes? I am about to hit my 40’s. So close that 40 is no longer  around the corner it actually is glaring at me *- So I feel a little bit qualified to speak about it.

I know how lonely it gets. Especially for us women because we are such emotional creatures. There is something about sharing your thoughts, your hearts with someone who gets you; and is not of the same sex!

I know, I am living it.

But that does not give us the license to push boundaries.

So sister take a deep breath and cut ties.

In fact right now go to your phone book and block him. Block him on all avenues-at least all social media platforms have this provision, even they are wise enough to know that there are some people that you do need in your life.

Allow me to bring this posts to an end by saying this: this particular man, NEVER contacted me, has never contacted me and may I just tell you for free will never contact me. I have never bumped into him in our neighborhood, I have never had any sight of him and will never have sight of him.

I do not yearn for him.

In fact immediately I prayed about it, it was like God took this very large broom and swept my heart clean, took an even larger dust pan and discarded those feelings in an bottomless bin! That’s how neat (read “cool”) my God is.

I know for a fact it may not be that automatic for all of us, actually in most instances God wants us to walk/work it out, but only He knows why He allowed it this way for me.

I’m I still lonely? Oh yes!

But I am much wiser now.

I am more careful about the conversations I have with ANY married man.

I am more guarded.

It doesn’t mean I live a calculated life checking every word I speak, it simply means I have surrendered my emotions to a better steward. It only means I am more conscious of the relationships I have.

I want to end by speaking to those who find themselves in it, knee high.

It does not matter if you perceive yourself as far too gone; His hand can get to you.

There is nothing right about relating with another woman’s husband. Nothing.

Don’t ask us or the world to understand your circumstances. No circumstances can ever align themselves to make it right. Tough love.

Ask for grace and then end it.

Pull the plug.

I know some may require exceptional wisdom especially where children are involved. Ask God for it and then go ahead and pull the plug. There are no two ways about it.

Find yourself.

You are too precious, too beautiful to be involved in that nonsense.

You are to die for.

He actually did. In the literal sense of it.

He sings over you everyday. He has you engraved on the palm of His hand.

It may not feel like that everyday. In fact it doesn’t feel like that most times, but when you look at the mirror you must only turn away from it only after you see the beauty of His reflection; because that is who you are.

I love you with His unfailing love; single lady and single mom.

We are going to slay these temptations and win!!

2017 is our year of Victory!

As always stick to your lane. Do not overlap or run aimlessly.

Run focused on Jesus- Oh! only on His amazing glorious face.

P.S: |Watch out for my thoughts coming in a fortnight on: “The realities of hitting 40 and still single- what they never tell you!” .

4 thoughts on “My Encounter with Married Man- Of Lessons Learned: Part 3

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