A FURTHER LETTER TO MY (PRECIOUS) FUTURE HUSBAND

Dear Husband,

Its been a minute! Well 42 months to be precise! Did you get this?—>A letter to my dear future husband

I have chosen to believe that you did not because I can see it no other way!

Anyhu, as I wallow through that murky puddle of disbelief, I thought I would pen you some more of my thoughts and this time I know you will get to read this :).

Believe it or not, but 42 months later and I still haven’t given up on us! Ha!

Yes! And brother I am not just about to!

I turned 41 this year, and bro can I just tell you about the many odd stares I got from my family and friend alike when I still spoke of you? I think some of them officially think I I went “loco” as my son would say it.

You know what, I see it in their eyes. I read their despair, their pain on my behalf and how they want to tell me in so many ways that this ship sailed, but cannot bring themselves to it!

Above all else I see their pity!

Oh my!

Their pity is on another level. Did I tell you how they “encourage” me? You would think they were trying to crack the time code!

I get that they come from a good place; well some do…and even then, I am still grateful.

This one must be the most popular with some married ones “hold on sister! He is on his way!” And oh don’t get me started with the ones who slap me on the back with “this is definitely your year my sister!”

Have they no idea how I have patiently waited year after year believing each year was “my own year“?

Often times I have wondered if any one of these genuinely believed in what they were telling me or even had an inkling on how challenging this wait is for me.

How do I wait not just wait but do so in purity and honoring God?

How do I deal with the inherent need of being loved and becoming someone’s beloved?

And do not get me started on how others will always tell me “well,… sister marriage too has its own challenges…

Well ha! ha! As if that is magically supposed to make my desire for marriage dwindle or give me a greater insight on how privileged I am that I am single!

What haven’t I heard in this season?

By the way special shout out to those who make me think in a very subtle way that there must be something wrong that either my ancestors , or I did! You take the cake and the icing too!

I wonder if all these people, ever pose even for a minute to think of what it means to be a mature older sister who desires to be married and is waiting.

Empathy, anyone?

Ever wondered how it felt not to have someone tell you “Happy birthday sweetheart!” and that person (for once) wasn’t your child, father, mother, sister or just had no blood relation to you?

Ever wondered how it felt not to have that someone that was your special someone?

Have you ever wondered how lonely it gets?

How we just want someone to cheer us on and applaud us in our victories?

I wish they would sometimes just sit there and listen.

Listen to my (our) journey without saying anything “encouraging“.

Just sat there and listened to how challenging it was to hit your 30s or your 40s but still have faith that one day, one beautiful day it will be “my season, our season“.

BUT

As the years passed by and the promises seemed to wane…I have held on to the Word of He who changes not.

Precious husband, I have held fiercely on Jesus.

Yes.

He is the lover of my soul, my confidence, my strong tower and above all my city of refuge.

He got me!

I know in Him I am all I will ever be.

He hears me when I despair. He knows me when I am downcast.

When I need to be embraced, His Word He has wrapped around me.

He has never let me go.

Every single day, I lean on Him, as I move on with purpose towards His beautiful calling.

I grow in His Word, I learn to trust Him more.

He is my anchor.

My precious husband, I have not stopped living, nor will I stop living till you find me.

I placed my hands on the plow and committed to never looking back.

So when my yearnings seem to overwhelm me, when my wants seem to drown me; I will always look upon Him and upon His beautiful gaze.

Because you see husband, He is my first love! He is my everything- and in Him I will continue waiting for you.

Will I miss you as I wait?

Yes.

Will I continue to think and feel like you (definitely must) have blinds in your eyes, and if I knew where you were I’d personally come rip them off your eyes and slap you to reality?

Yes.

Will I wake up wondering if truly God intended me to ever be found by you?

Yes.

BUT

I will wait on God.

I will wait on His promise, because He is not a man neither does He lie.

I will continue trusting in Him because it is only then that Christ is best glorified in me.

I will pray for you ( and especially that Jesus may “yank off those blinds”)!

I will serve Jesus with the best I have and as He allows me to.

I will live out my true calling and purpose.

I will smile with those who patronize me {you know them 😉 } and I will honor those who walk alongside me.

Husband my commitment to you is this;

I will wait

&

I will wait well.

Should I get discouraged, should I get weary and should I doubt of your very own existence;

I will behold the gaze of my Master, my King, my eternal groom and there I will find rest.

In His amazing love;

Your Future Wife.

P.S; I know you are reading this! I just know it!

2 thoughts on “A FURTHER LETTER TO MY (PRECIOUS) FUTURE HUSBAND

  1. Trish says:

    This is so real 🙂 We remain prisoners of hope. This God we serve is a good good father, perfect in all of His ways. He has the best plans for us. May we never lose sight of that.

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